"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." ~Marianne Williamson
Most of you will recognize the popular quote from the movie Coach Carter. I am sitting here watching motivational videos on my Youtube channel and couldn't help but put my thoughts on paper. We are now 27 days away from a monumental change in our families destiny. This moment we have fought for is getting nearer by the day. If you were to compare where we are now with where we were 560 days ago, most people would pass out.
560 Days Ago:
Perfectly stable job
Perfectly stable income
Nice House
2 vehicles
Steadily increasing retirement account
Cable TV
Eating out regularly
Regular vacation time
Bills all up to date
One completely unfulfilled heart
27 Days from now:
Self employed
Variable income
Abandoned house
1 P.O.S. vehicle
No retirement
No cable
Eat at home
No vacations *temporarily*
Eliminated all but essential bills
Feeling of living your destiny
In the, roughly, 600 days from the date I left my "desk job" until the point we move into our Florida house, my family and I have been on the most trying and difficult period of our lives. There have been moments that have shaken me to the core and made me doubt the very fabric of my being. There have been times where fear has literally paralyzed my soul. In the process I've lost my retirement savings, nearly my marriage, my first real business, my cars, most of my furniture, my dog, and soon my house along with a bankruptcy. In the truest sense, we have lost everything....except each other. As my world came apart piece by piece, I slowly gained clarity. I began to understand what it is I was meant to be.
"It ain't about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep going" ~Rocky VI
We have taken our hits, many of them. Each time, we knew, that this was just another stone in the path to our dreams. Florida is coming, soon. Even that, is only a small victory. Once there, the toughest path in our journey still lay ahead of us. One that has no safety net. If we fail there, we fail without anything to fall back on, not even a moving truck to get us 1200 miles back to our family.
Most people don't understand why we would want to put ourselves through all of this. Why would we sacrifice such security to pursue something that may never happen and even if it does, it may mean more work. I can't speak for those people, but I can speak for myself. What are we living for if not for a dream. What are we teaching our kids if we're not constantly trying to strive for something more.
As for me and my kids, I vowed long ago never to allow my kids to experience the same childhood as me. I will not surrender to mediocrity, nor will I allow my kids to ever think impossible exists.
It is my hope, that my boys will experience the last portion of the quote from Marianne Williamson above. " as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." My hope is that fear never leaves my heart so that they may change the world.
